♥ Tweets.Pei Huan writes ♥

I've been pondering on a question very much lately...

Am I doing the right thing?

I do not know the answer.....

If I would known,
I should have just behave like I always do
and not go against my principal

How should I treat you?
How would you want me to treat you?
Why do I feel so bad?

You know what is my answer
Yet you choose to be ignorant about it
giving me reasons of your own...

You told me you want to forget,
I understand, I accept,
Then you told me you do not want to forget,
and, again I choose to accept..

Friends then
We shall be....

I truly take you as a good friend
A person I can always trust
Someone that I know I can forever count on
A friend
I come to appreciate and care for very much...

But it seems I should have care less

I do not know why I still give a damn...
I do not understand why I will be easily irritated, frustrated, upset
I do not know why I feel worried and upset when I see the way you treat yourself

When I see you like this,
I am angry, I am frustrated, I am upset
I FEEL BAD!!
I cant blardy sleep!

Are you happy then?!!

But,
Do you care?

You told me how you feel when you know I am upset.

Do you really?

I should not have give a damn about anything in the first place...
I should have just do as I always did in the first place...

being ignorant...

You make me feel like shit
A lousy friend
A bad person

I chose to care and take you as a friend
I chose to accept the fact that things have change between us
I take you as a good friend but what about you?
I appreciate the things you do for me
I am touched at your sincerity

but sometimes,
the more things you do
the more bad I feel
the more stressed I am

because

I do not know what I can do to show you my appreciation
especially after seeing you being unhappy and frustrated!!!

Things just aren't suppose to be this way in the first place
Cruelty
should have been my first choice

Because of this friendship
I feel more and more hurt as days passed by
I feel more and more bad everytime I see you unhappy

I STILL blardy CARE
because I take you as a sincere friend
I appreciate...

Maybe I am really wrong this time....

Why don't you teach me what to do?

Because right this moment

I am helpless....

Sometimes you love something so much that it hurts to leave it, but you must.

Sometimes it hurts too much to hold on to that thing you love.

And
sometimes you let go of what you love because it hurts,

but then
just sometimes...

you get it back and live happily ever after.

Hotham
Here I come!!!!


People,
Pei Huan will b MIA for several days
because
she is off to

SNOWBOARDING
in

HOTHAM!!!!



weeeeeeeee~~~


Pics pics up soon when I am back!!


XOXO
Luv you guys!!

There are times when you are down
But you feel fortunate to have a good listener beside you
To have a friend that cheers you up
and make you smile again....


***********


You said I was oversensitive
You said I was thinking too much
You being so nonchalant about it
Its, Yes, upsetting me!!
Deep down I DO know what is the problem
What is going in your mind
What is causing such misunderstanding
But,
What upsets me is how you jump into conclusion without consulting me
How you just sulk and pout there without really understanding the real situation

Never assume...
Assumption is the cause of misunderstanding
Your assumption and treatment are making me feel as if I did something wrong to you when I did not after all...

I didn't need to be bothered after all!!

I care because I take you as a friend...
I mind because you are a good person to me...
I appreciate because I can see how good you treat me...

Don't make me disappointed...


**********


For three whole weeks,
No news from you at all...
From friends to almost stranger...
From chatting almost everyday to the situation where we just say 'hi' to each other
I overlooked them all
I take them as a past, a memory
I cherished these memories,
I tell myself so many million times
What is past IS past,
I did not choose to be like this...
I would give everything just to have us back to the old days...

But,

I choose to accept what happened
I choose to not mourn and be emotional about it
I choose not to irritate my friends around me about this issue anymore

I think I made it
I did not shed any tears for you no more
I smile happily
I go on with my daily life without reminding myself of you

But,
When I thought things are back to normal
When I start to accept the fact of the now and future relationship of me and you

A phone call from you just shattered everything

for THREE whole weeks
Complete ignorance from you
I am just like a stranger to you
but
You called
What makes me feel so bad and worst about myself is
The call did not ask how am I lately
How are things going
Its just to get something from me

Thats All.
Fullstop.

I do not know whether is you acting dumb or you are just too-not-sensitive.
I think you just choose to overlook things.
You choose to leave things like that.
You do not know how to deal with it.
Its ok.
I understand.
I was upset before but I am fine now.

But,
is it necessary for us to be such stranger?
does it make you happy to have a situation like this?
If yes,
Then lets us just leave things this way.
The 'hi-bye' way.

Because at least,
I feel protected and safe......
Remember,
It's never me that choose to be this way
I would very much love to chat to you once more
But I guess
You are afraid of me...
You are the one that were gone and disappeared into the thin air out of sudden
And yes,
I loath those people who thinks I am being a sour grape...
Because I did try my best once upon a time...

So,
Just let me continue feeling protected and happy in my own way
Let's us just keep the distance.


***********


Thank you for listening
Thank you for always being there when I am down
Thank you for lending me an arm to punch on
Thank you for making me smile again

Its been a short time since we know each other
Its ironic how we get to know each other better too
But
I can't tell you how grateful I feel to have you as a friend

For those times you came when I was sad
For those times you came to lend me a helping hand when I needed one
For those times when all you do is smile widely at me just to make me laugh again
For those long sleepless nights of mine where you will chat to me

You have been a great friend
a great listener
a friend that never fails me...

therefore,

Thank You very much~


*********

Yes..
I know you guys are asking out loud
"What the hell was PeiHuan thinking???"


=(


I KNowwww!!!
I told the hairdresser
I wan a TRIM and a DYE!!!


Above is the result of the 'trim'
WHICH PART of it looks like a TRIM??!!

Gone is my hair...
Gone is the length
Gone is my beautiful loooongg nice hair!!!


I have evil super duper SHORT hair now!!!
*sob sob*


"I wan my hair backkkk!!! *teary eyed* "

*Kevin swear he is gonna punch me if I repeat this sentence again!!!*


tsk tsk...
evil Kevin so not sympathetic at all!!


So,
Whadda ya guys think??
*hopeful puppy eyes staring at every one of you*


*I KNOW You guys gonna say long hair looks better
but well, just lie a teeny weeny bit to make me happier??*




And finally,




雨过天晴

Friends are we....
The very very very normal kind...


*********

It might be a good start anyways...

New hairstyle,
New beginning....

You,
A beautiful memory of mine...